Nora Charles

It's horrible that it even got that far in the Spanish parliament, but I'm glad that respect for women narrowly edged out the islamophobia, and wearing the burka was not prohibited by law in Spain.

If you think islamist men are forcing their female family members to wear the burka, and that that is wrong - how can you defend the state mandating how women can dress?

I'm not a fan of any sort of socially mandated "modest clothing" or religiously symbolic gender-specific clothing. But you know, Spain: You have an awful lot of nuns wearing restrictive habits to be starting with the Muslim women. Just saying.

Siumut member Malik Berthelsen suggests making women pay for abortions.

I am completely shocked that a member of Siumut, a supposedly socialist party, could suggest something so horrible.

If half of pregnancies in Greenland are terminated voluntarily, then there are serious social problems to be dealt with. But we already knew that. So why not try to do something about the rampant mental health problems, substance abuse problems and unemployment problems, rather than punish these women for suffering?

What exactly does Berthelsen think these women would do? What if they don't have DKK 2000 (approximately USD 400)? That's a lot of money for anyone, but especially for someone on public benefits and/or with a substance abuse problem. Are they supposed to give birth, and then neglect the baby? No one chooses to have an abortion for fun! These women have damn good reasons for preferring to go through that traumatic procedure rather than having the baby.

Berthelsen says that the threat of an expensive abortion would encourage people to use birth control. I say that he has a completely messed up view of what women are, and what kind of bodily integrity a woman is entitled to, if he thinks that the threat of going through an abortion is not a huge big deal in itself.

There are reasons for unwanted pregnancies, and those reasons are not typically a careful cost-benefit analysis of the inconvenience of stopping for a few minutes to get a condom versus the inconvenience of getting pregnant or getting an STD.

I'm furious that there are so many families who think that women should shut their whore mouths when men are talking that some schools can't hold satisfactory parent teacher conferences.

Why are these women not involved with their children's schooling? Why do the male heads of family who attend the conferences not discuss the results with their wives at home, since presumably mothers have the main responsibility for child rearing in traditional patriarchal families? Are the fathers so removed from the feminine/child-rearing sphere that they do not attend the conferences either?

Why are local women's organizations not organizing these mothers and empowering them to speak and act even if these patriarchal women will only do so in woman only spaces? Feminism FAIL.

I don't think that public schools, which by law are required to teach democracy and gender equality, should reinforce the patriarchal families in their beliefs. Of course not.

But holding a few mother teacher conferences, which will in no way detract from the normal course of parent teacher conferences, is not only the only practical solution for the affected children right now, it is also a great opportunity for the teachers to tell these mothers that their voices are valued and desired, and that they wield an enormous power over their children's schooling and future which must be used constructively. When the mothers learn this, they can find ways to participate which do not require them to speak in mixed groups.

I am disgusted that this whole debate is being derailed by islamophobia. The affected children, and society as a whole, need these mothers mobilized. That a comparatively high percentage of families with patriarchal beliefs are Muslims is not relevant, and finding practical ways of working with these families is not bowing to islamist pressure. I sincerely doubt that radical islamists would be pressuring public schools to involve wives and mothers more in decision making, for fuck's sake.

I don't understand the concept of the "guilty pleasure". What does it mean? Is it something only or primarily women have?

Sometimes I do things I've resolved not to do, or fail to do something I've resolved to do, and sometimes it's serious enough that I feel guilty about it. And then I don't tell anyone, because, you know, I feel guilty. I might tell an especially close friend under implicit condition of silence if we're discussing guilt and feelings of inadequacy and how we deal with it, but generally speaking, I don't go around telling people what I feel guilty about.

There are things I like and enjoy which have flaws. For example I like the Star Trek reboot! I like it a lot. And I think it has way too many dicks on the dance floor, and I think it uses its female characters in sexist ways. So when I talk about Star Trek I might say "Even though I have some reservations about its sexism, I loved the new Star Trek, it was true to the spirit of the original series and it was funny" just so no one thinks I'm ignorant of or approve of the sexism. But I don't feel guilty for liking it. Does anyone think I should? If I should, does admitting my guilt publicly mean I deserve a lesser punishment?

If people are so worried about being judged for stuff they like, why don't they talk about the problems with what they like, instead of just using the vague "guilty pleasure"? Does this have to do with Impostor Syndrome? Does this have to do with the thing where you're not allowed to criticize anything you like, or to like anything you criticize?

What I learned about women from watching WC 101:

Women are there for you to enjoy! One of the good things about getting released from prison is that you get to use women. You can stare at them all you want, and if you put in the effort and flirt a bit with them, they'll try to please you and do stuff for you. Because that's what women are for.

Women's emotions don't matter, except for when they become a problem to you. A good wife will keep her emotions from bothering you, that's what makes her good. Sometimes women are just too emotional though, and that's when you have to solve the problem. If you just apply yourself to the problem, you can make it go away. You don't need to waste time during your marriage on getting to know your wife, because if she's a good wife, most of the time she won't trouble you with her emotions. On the rare occasions when you have to deal with the problem, you can just search through her possessions, and buy her a luxury item she wants.

Women are yours. If you're considering dating a woman, you should stalk her to see if she's good enough. She'll thank you later. If your wife is being problematical and having emotions, you should stalk her to try to solve the problem. She'll thank you for it. If a woman leaves you, you should stalk her and try to take her back. If a woman suspects you wouldn't stalk her if she left you, she'll think you don't value her as a possession, and then she might get emotional.

Women are at your disposition at all times. The only reason a woman has to turn you down is if she's a lesbian. Lesbianism is a waste of a sexy woman. Lesbians are lesbians just to thwart you. Lesbians want to be like you and wear hats and suits, because they know that you are better than women, but they also want to look sexy for you, as is only right. Even though you don't get to have sex with lesbians, they are there for you to stare at as much as you want.

Women come in two types: One type of woman is young, slim, has long, shiny, straight hair, wears a lot of make-up, wears figure-hugging clothing, wears high heels, flirts with you, and is there for you to stare at. The other type of woman is invisible, except when doing you a favor.

Women care about dumb stuff. You wouldn't care about your wedding anniversary, of course. The thought of a wife giving her husband a present on their anniversary, or a couple making plans together is just ludicrous, because why would you want to celebrate your relationship? But women sometimes have emotions for dumb reasons, and you need to solve that before it becomes a bigger problem.

Women, I tell you. They're a nuisance to deal with, but we still want to fuck them. Ammirite?

I also learned a politically correct tip from watching WC:

Don't say the d-word, it's offensive to little people! But it's okay to say "enano", because Hispanics don't watch TV, and if they do, who cares what they think anyway.

Oh yeah, you better believe I'm going to be watching this show for the ho-yay.

Hand-Painted Blue Periwinkles by curia_regis, written for thelittlebang.

Elizabeth is worried about Hyacinth when Richard leaves her after 35 years of marriage. She starts making an effort to see Hyacinth more and be there for her. She remembers how they first became friends, how fascinating Hyacinth is, what she likes about her, and the fun comes back into their friendship.

The whole cast of characters from the show is here, everyone totally in character with his or her charming quirks. Elizabeth's gradual awakening from apathy is wonderful and engagingly written, and it's suspenseful and heartening to see her taking baby-steps in standing up for herself.

I particularly liked the description of female friendship in the lives of two women whose lives revolve around men, and how the presence or absence of those men affect the friendship. The backstory of how Elizabeth first became friends with Hyacinth, and Elizabeth's relationship with her husband John is subtle and thought provoking.

The sex is tastefully non-graphic and alluded only in the degree necessary to understand what is going on, since it is Elizabeth narrating after all.

When I was in Smallville fandom, back in 2001-2002 I used to hang out with some fellow fangirls in an AIM chatroom. We were all slashers, and all pretty open minded about slash pairings, including incestuous slash (Lex/Lionel). However we disagreed very strongly about the character Lana, to the point where we had to stop even trying to discuss her. The general consensus was that Chloe was everything that is awesome (and if anyone disagreed, they didn't dare say so), but Lana was continuously bashed.

( I think there were several reasons for this )

I wanted to look beyond the poor writing and uninspiring acting, suspend my disbelief and just go with who Lana supposedly was, taking it as a challenge to flesh her out, since she was a key figure in Clark's life, and I needed to make her worthy of his love in order to respect Clark, rather than out of any feminist desire to have a realistic girl on TV, but I gave up when my attempts were met with indifference or even rabid fury by other fans. I left Smallville fandom shortly after, and since then I haven't bothered rolling that particular boulder up the hill.

A lot of the women others have mentioned in their celebration of female characters are more or less of the same type as Lana. Their onscreen lives revolve around male characters, they're there to comment on male characters; to be sexual opportunities or challenges for male characters; to show that male characters are so wonderful that they can hang out with women, often two-fers; to be damsels in distress; to be mother-figures; to be the loving child figures without the tension of the expected power-struggle between sons and fathers (because girls never grow into women, at least not until they reach menopause or if they're ugly); they're there to unsettle male characters, lead them into temptation and attack them with their foul sexuality, etc. etc.

Often someone will say to me, isn't so-and-so a kick-ass heroine? I'll probably politely and not very convincingly agree, all the while going "meh" on the inside and feeling disgruntled. I don't want to have to do the leg work on fleshing out those characters! I'm done with that, and I'm done with being satisfied with substandard writing like that. I will not be silenced by a sop like an idealized, beautiful, smart, courageous, bantering kick-ass lust-object for fanboys like the hateful Lady Christina de Souza in Doctor Who. "But, but... she kicks ass?!" All the more to be a good trophy for the Doctor when she begs to accompany him, my friend.

The female characters I'm going to celebrate use their powers of awesomeness for their own good, rather than for the good of a male characters. They are the heroes of their own lives, not the supporting characters in some dude's life. I don't care how smoking hot Zoë Washburne is (very in case you're wondering), she is not the kind of character I want more of. I say that as a bitterly disappointed fangirl who was thrilled about Zoë after watching one episode of Firefly, only to realize the evil bait and switch Joss was playing on female Buffy fans.

Mehitabel Parr
One of three main characters in Sarah Monette's books Melusine, The Virtu and The Mirador. I came for the delicious slashiness, I stayed for the humor, suspense, and vivid characters and settings. The books are narrated from each of the main characters' POV, with very strong and individual voices. They overlap often, leading to interestingly contrasting views of the same events, but each character has their own life and subplot. Mehitabel grew up in a traveling circus, but ran away from home to become a classical actress in a respectable theater. She's good at her job, interested in other people, and in many ways just an ordinary single woman struggling to make ends meet in a stressful world and maybe find some happiness along the way. Because she's one of the main characters in a fantasy novel, of course she has to deal with a lot of challenges along the way, and she proves to be vulnerable, but with an unbendable spirit; unfair and kind of distant to her friends sometimes, but loyal and good when it comes down to it; funny, but kind of mean... she's totally awesome. She has believable flaws, and is no superhero, and when she triumphs or gets in a good zinger, it's impossible not to cheer for her.

Cordelia Naismith
The main character in Lois McMaster Bujold's books Shards of Honor and Barrayar, and an important supporting character in the rest of the Vorkosigan saga. Shards of Honor reads like slash. Cordelia is the captain of a survey ship who crashes on a planet where the only other person is a fearsome warrior from a paternalistic, very traditional culture that has recently been at war with Cordelia's people. In Cordelia's culture, sex and gender are a matter of personal preference, and many different sexual and gender orientations are recognized and celebrated. She happens to be female and a woman, but mainly identifies as a scientist and the leader of her crew in this context, but she is aware that gender roles are rigidly defined by society, not individual preference in Aral Vorkosigan's culture. Now the bookish geek must win the respect of and form an alliance with the aggressive and very physical warrior in order for both of them to survive. It's the perfect union of action adventure and a respect -> like -> love story free of icky gender roles.

To be continued

ximeria forwarded me a link to a recent discussion about female characters and how some people just don't find them appealing on fandomsecrets.

I love women. In real life almost all my friends are women. Though I'm bisexual, I tend to fall in love with women much more often than with men. I feel a greater emotional connection to women, find them easier to communicate with and get along with, and I tend to respect them more than I do men. In fact, I often have to remind myself not to be such a man-despising sexist, that a person is not his gender, and I should drop the prejudices and get to know a guy and judge him solely on himself.

When it comes to fandom, I prefer male characters and read m/m slash almost exclusively. This is because male characters are written much better than female characters in the sci-fi/action/fantasy genres I prefer, and because I set the bar for male characters *much lower* than I do for female characters — I quite honestly have lower expectations of men, and find it easier to sexually objectify men.

There are a few wonderful exceptions to my male character oriented fandom experience: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Veronica Mars, and The Vorkosigan Saga. I have read several sci-fi/fantasy novels by female writers with enjoyable female protagonists, but none that I have liked strongly enough to inspire me to any fannish activity.

When it comes to my writing, I write women and non-gendered persons. I am far from prolific, in fact I've only written three (3) fics by myself (not counting drabbles):

• One femmeslash fic focused on the friendship between Willow and Anya in BtVS,


• One gen fic focused on the friendship between Lana and Chloe in Smallville, and


• One m/m slash focused on Lex's feelings of frustration when he fails to connect emotionally with the guy he's in love with. Lex is not effeminate in the fic, but the writing style and subject matter are definitely feminine and actively distasteful to my one male test subject. I think the emotions Lex expresses are part of the common human experience, and there are absolutely no explorations of either the specifically male or female experience or gender role, unlike my two fics focused on women and how female friendships can be.

I have never read a slash fic written from a male perspective about the male experience. I have read a few gay porn style fics written in a masculine tone, and feel that they were mislabeled as slash, but even then, had they not been so poorly written, I would say that they were about thoughts and feelings and experiences common to all human beings. (I've also read a few more traditional style slash fics written in a very masculine tone, by writers identifying themselves as male, so please don't take it that I think slash can only be written by and for women!)

To summarize: I am a slasher, but I have no particular interest in men, nor do I dislike women. I use slash to avoid dealing with poorly/offensively/superficially/stereotypically characterized female characters that do not live up to my real life experience of women, and to have guilt-free fun perving on and objectifying characters.