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White Collar 101
Oct. 24th, 2009 11:06 amWhat I learned about women from watching WC 101:
Women are there for you to enjoy! One of the good things about getting released from prison is that you get to use women. You can stare at them all you want, and if you put in the effort and flirt a bit with them, they'll try to please you and do stuff for you. Because that's what women are for.
Women's emotions don't matter, except for when they become a problem to you. A good wife will keep her emotions from bothering you, that's what makes her good. Sometimes women are just too emotional though, and that's when you have to solve the problem. If you just apply yourself to the problem, you can make it go away. You don't need to waste time during your marriage on getting to know your wife, because if she's a good wife, most of the time she won't trouble you with her emotions. On the rare occasions when you have to deal with the problem, you can just search through her possessions, and buy her a luxury item she wants.
Women are yours. If you're considering dating a woman, you should stalk her to see if she's good enough. She'll thank you later. If your wife is being problematical and having emotions, you should stalk her to try to solve the problem. She'll thank you for it. If a woman leaves you, you should stalk her and try to take her back. If a woman suspects you wouldn't stalk her if she left you, she'll think you don't value her as a possession, and then she might get emotional.
Women are at your disposition at all times. The only reason a woman has to turn you down is if she's a lesbian. Lesbianism is a waste of a sexy woman. Lesbians are lesbians just to thwart you. Lesbians want to be like you and wear hats and suits, because they know that you are better than women, but they also want to look sexy for you, as is only right. Even though you don't get to have sex with lesbians, they are there for you to stare at as much as you want.
Women come in two types: One type of woman is young, slim, has long, shiny, straight hair, wears a lot of make-up, wears figure-hugging clothing, wears high heels, flirts with you, and is there for you to stare at. The other type of woman is invisible, except when doing you a favor.
Women care about dumb stuff. You wouldn't care about your wedding anniversary, of course. The thought of a wife giving her husband a present on their anniversary, or a couple making plans together is just ludicrous, because why would you want to celebrate your relationship? But women sometimes have emotions for dumb reasons, and you need to solve that before it becomes a bigger problem.
Women, I tell you. They're a nuisance to deal with, but we still want to fuck them. Ammirite?
I also learned a politically correct tip from watching WC:
Don't say the d-word, it's offensive to little people! But it's okay to say "enano", because Hispanics don't watch TV, and if they do, who cares what they think anyway.
Oh yeah, you better believe I'm going to be watching this show for the ho-yay.
Women are there for you to enjoy! One of the good things about getting released from prison is that you get to use women. You can stare at them all you want, and if you put in the effort and flirt a bit with them, they'll try to please you and do stuff for you. Because that's what women are for.
Women's emotions don't matter, except for when they become a problem to you. A good wife will keep her emotions from bothering you, that's what makes her good. Sometimes women are just too emotional though, and that's when you have to solve the problem. If you just apply yourself to the problem, you can make it go away. You don't need to waste time during your marriage on getting to know your wife, because if she's a good wife, most of the time she won't trouble you with her emotions. On the rare occasions when you have to deal with the problem, you can just search through her possessions, and buy her a luxury item she wants.
Women are yours. If you're considering dating a woman, you should stalk her to see if she's good enough. She'll thank you later. If your wife is being problematical and having emotions, you should stalk her to try to solve the problem. She'll thank you for it. If a woman leaves you, you should stalk her and try to take her back. If a woman suspects you wouldn't stalk her if she left you, she'll think you don't value her as a possession, and then she might get emotional.
Women are at your disposition at all times. The only reason a woman has to turn you down is if she's a lesbian. Lesbianism is a waste of a sexy woman. Lesbians are lesbians just to thwart you. Lesbians want to be like you and wear hats and suits, because they know that you are better than women, but they also want to look sexy for you, as is only right. Even though you don't get to have sex with lesbians, they are there for you to stare at as much as you want.
Women come in two types: One type of woman is young, slim, has long, shiny, straight hair, wears a lot of make-up, wears figure-hugging clothing, wears high heels, flirts with you, and is there for you to stare at. The other type of woman is invisible, except when doing you a favor.
Women care about dumb stuff. You wouldn't care about your wedding anniversary, of course. The thought of a wife giving her husband a present on their anniversary, or a couple making plans together is just ludicrous, because why would you want to celebrate your relationship? But women sometimes have emotions for dumb reasons, and you need to solve that before it becomes a bigger problem.
Women, I tell you. They're a nuisance to deal with, but we still want to fuck them. Ammirite?
I also learned a politically correct tip from watching WC:
Don't say the d-word, it's offensive to little people! But it's okay to say "enano", because Hispanics don't watch TV, and if they do, who cares what they think anyway.
Oh yeah, you better believe I'm going to be watching this show for the ho-yay.