Willow's gayness, and Willow's Wiccanness
May. 16th, 2002 07:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
noracharlesI read one of the LJ communities just now. I had hoped I'd like them better than I usually do message boards, but I pretty much hated it. There are too many people involved in the discussions, most of them with "me too" or long, rambling, point-less letters.
There are some very interesting, well-argued, often witty entries that I want to answer, because I disagree with them, or have something relevant (imho) to add.
But there are of course always a dozen irrelevant annoying replies, clueless morons, semi-cluefull but too lazy to make their point clearly and concisely pests, and just annoying yes-men. I like the "you suck, and you'll all burn in Hell!" replies better.
There were two topics on the (in the?) Buffy community I find quite interesting, and would have liked to hear other people's opinions on, if other people didn't annoy me so much, of course. I didn't comment on them in the community, because I don't have the patience to try to find out if someone else already had pretty much the same thing to say.
So you get to be the lucky audience ^_^
Willow's gayness:
I always notice whenever Willow mentions how very, very gay and oh so lesbian she is now. It bothers me that Willow feels the need to put this label on herself. It smacks very much of insecurity and conformism. Not with society. She doesn't need or want that. But with what she thinks Tara and to a certain extent her friends want her to be, so she'll be cool and loveable.
Why must she deny or downplay her love for Xander and Oz? Just because they did not complete her the way Tara does, does that make what she felt for them any less real? I can certainly understand Willow having a preference, even a marked preference for women (or is it for Tara), and I suppose some might call that "being gay". At the very least, she is "in a gay relationship". But I'm sure that is not what Willow means when she says it.
I think to her "bisexual" means non-monoganous, not really seriously in love and lust with everything that is Tara, confused, uncool, waffling, untrue, disloyal... Yes, I am exagerating, because I think the feeling is vague, but deepseated, and there aren't really any milder words that fit.
Does it make me unhappy and upset that the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer portrays a 21 year old bisexual like that? No, it thrills me. I find it very realistic, touching and thought-provoking. I think Willow and Tara are both excellent rolemodels to kids (and adults) struggling with coming to terms with their sexual identity, sometimes as examples of what to do, sometimes as examples of what not to do.
While I do feel that society in general is less understanding of bisexuality or pansexuality than of hetero or homosexuality, I don't think a fairytale, preachy, portrayal of characters completely down with their own sexuality, and accepting of everyone elses, would create understanding, or help anyone struggling with understanding and coming to terms with their own sexuality.
But I still would like someone to just clearly say on TV: "Yes, I am bisexual. I like both my own and the opposite sex, and transgenders. Yes, I do find them physically attractive, it certainly isn't all about personalities. Yes, I do have 'a type' like most other people, gender just happens not to be on the list of criteria."
It certainly would have helped me when I was growing up. I was sooo confused. "I think I'm gay. But I also think that guy's totally hot. Oooh, there's nothing sexier than an athletic, handsome man is a cute dress and pretty make-up. What the f*?"
Willow's Wiccanness
Is she or isn't she? Is calling her Wiccan just another sad example of how the stereotype of people of the Wiccan faith as evil, blackmagic practising heathens persists?
Is it just another example of people wrongfully assuming that Wiccan is a synonym for anyone who is a pagan magic user?
Is it a clever way of showing how two peaceful, biodynamic love-Wiccans like Willow and Tara can evolve, one growing stronger in the true faith and benefitting from it, the other perverting its practises and rejecting the rede, spreading nothing but misery around her?
No, no, no! There is not one true way of being Wiccan, or one rede that all must follow. It is not an organised religion. Noone but the individual Wiccan in question decide for her or himself if s/he is a Wiccan. Why would Willow choose to call herself Wiccan, when her beliefs are so different from the majority of Wiccans? Okay, I don't think her belief really are that different from other Wiccans. She is a pagan. She believes in/uses magic. She follows her own concience.
Many take the last to mean "Do as ye will, an ye do no harm", but I don't think that's a given. We all have different concepts of right or wrong. I think it has been shown very clearly on the show that Willow does not consider it immoral to use black magic, it's the intent, not the tool that matters to her. Furthermore, the Scoobies do harm unto others all the damn time. Because someone has killed before, because they might kill in the future, or just because they do not consider them one of God's creatures.
Furthermore, the general image of what a Wiccan is might be different in the Buffy universe than in ours. There, magic really works, or, for those who believe it works her too, it has a much stronger, immediately obvious effect. Likewise, the power of Jesus is very strong. His symbol repels/burns vampires (and possibly other un-godly creatures?). The Eye of Ra burns the undead too, and the gods, goddesses and demons implored for help really respond.
Religion is much more hands on and immediate in that universe, not a vague ideal/proscript of how to live your life, and the worship of nature and diverse goddesses, plus the use of your own consience as a guide rather than some set-in-stone commandments would probably appeal to a much wider segment of the population.
</rant> ^_^
There are some very interesting, well-argued, often witty entries that I want to answer, because I disagree with them, or have something relevant (imho) to add.
But there are of course always a dozen irrelevant annoying replies, clueless morons, semi-cluefull but too lazy to make their point clearly and concisely pests, and just annoying yes-men. I like the "you suck, and you'll all burn in Hell!" replies better.
There were two topics on the (in the?) Buffy community I find quite interesting, and would have liked to hear other people's opinions on, if other people didn't annoy me so much, of course. I didn't comment on them in the community, because I don't have the patience to try to find out if someone else already had pretty much the same thing to say.
So you get to be the lucky audience ^_^
Willow's gayness:
I always notice whenever Willow mentions how very, very gay and oh so lesbian she is now. It bothers me that Willow feels the need to put this label on herself. It smacks very much of insecurity and conformism. Not with society. She doesn't need or want that. But with what she thinks Tara and to a certain extent her friends want her to be, so she'll be cool and loveable.
Why must she deny or downplay her love for Xander and Oz? Just because they did not complete her the way Tara does, does that make what she felt for them any less real? I can certainly understand Willow having a preference, even a marked preference for women (or is it for Tara), and I suppose some might call that "being gay". At the very least, she is "in a gay relationship". But I'm sure that is not what Willow means when she says it.
I think to her "bisexual" means non-monoganous, not really seriously in love and lust with everything that is Tara, confused, uncool, waffling, untrue, disloyal... Yes, I am exagerating, because I think the feeling is vague, but deepseated, and there aren't really any milder words that fit.
Does it make me unhappy and upset that the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer portrays a 21 year old bisexual like that? No, it thrills me. I find it very realistic, touching and thought-provoking. I think Willow and Tara are both excellent rolemodels to kids (and adults) struggling with coming to terms with their sexual identity, sometimes as examples of what to do, sometimes as examples of what not to do.
While I do feel that society in general is less understanding of bisexuality or pansexuality than of hetero or homosexuality, I don't think a fairytale, preachy, portrayal of characters completely down with their own sexuality, and accepting of everyone elses, would create understanding, or help anyone struggling with understanding and coming to terms with their own sexuality.
But I still would like someone to just clearly say on TV: "Yes, I am bisexual. I like both my own and the opposite sex, and transgenders. Yes, I do find them physically attractive, it certainly isn't all about personalities. Yes, I do have 'a type' like most other people, gender just happens not to be on the list of criteria."
It certainly would have helped me when I was growing up. I was sooo confused. "I think I'm gay. But I also think that guy's totally hot. Oooh, there's nothing sexier than an athletic, handsome man is a cute dress and pretty make-up. What the f*?"
Willow's Wiccanness
Is she or isn't she? Is calling her Wiccan just another sad example of how the stereotype of people of the Wiccan faith as evil, blackmagic practising heathens persists?
Is it just another example of people wrongfully assuming that Wiccan is a synonym for anyone who is a pagan magic user?
Is it a clever way of showing how two peaceful, biodynamic love-Wiccans like Willow and Tara can evolve, one growing stronger in the true faith and benefitting from it, the other perverting its practises and rejecting the rede, spreading nothing but misery around her?
No, no, no! There is not one true way of being Wiccan, or one rede that all must follow. It is not an organised religion. Noone but the individual Wiccan in question decide for her or himself if s/he is a Wiccan. Why would Willow choose to call herself Wiccan, when her beliefs are so different from the majority of Wiccans? Okay, I don't think her belief really are that different from other Wiccans. She is a pagan. She believes in/uses magic. She follows her own concience.
Many take the last to mean "Do as ye will, an ye do no harm", but I don't think that's a given. We all have different concepts of right or wrong. I think it has been shown very clearly on the show that Willow does not consider it immoral to use black magic, it's the intent, not the tool that matters to her. Furthermore, the Scoobies do harm unto others all the damn time. Because someone has killed before, because they might kill in the future, or just because they do not consider them one of God's creatures.
Furthermore, the general image of what a Wiccan is might be different in the Buffy universe than in ours. There, magic really works, or, for those who believe it works her too, it has a much stronger, immediately obvious effect. Likewise, the power of Jesus is very strong. His symbol repels/burns vampires (and possibly other un-godly creatures?). The Eye of Ra burns the undead too, and the gods, goddesses and demons implored for help really respond.
Religion is much more hands on and immediate in that universe, not a vague ideal/proscript of how to live your life, and the worship of nature and diverse goddesses, plus the use of your own consience as a guide rather than some set-in-stone commandments would probably appeal to a much wider segment of the population.
</rant> ^_^