Guilty pleasures

[noracharles]

I don't understand the concept of the "guilty pleasure". What does it mean? Is it something only or primarily women have?

Sometimes I do things I've resolved not to do, or fail to do something I've resolved to do, and sometimes it's serious enough that I feel guilty about it. And then I don't tell anyone, because, you know, I feel guilty. I might tell an especially close friend under implicit condition of silence if we're discussing guilt and feelings of inadequacy and how we deal with it, but generally speaking, I don't go around telling people what I feel guilty about.

There are things I like and enjoy which have flaws. For example I like the Star Trek reboot! I like it a lot. And I think it has way too many dicks on the dance floor, and I think it uses its female characters in sexist ways. So when I talk about Star Trek I might say "Even though I have some reservations about its sexism, I loved the new Star Trek, it was true to the spirit of the original series and it was funny" just so no one thinks I'm ignorant of or approve of the sexism. But I don't feel guilty for liking it. Does anyone think I should? If I should, does admitting my guilt publicly mean I deserve a lesser punishment?

If people are so worried about being judged for stuff they like, why don't they talk about the problems with what they like, instead of just using the vague "guilty pleasure"? Does this have to do with Impostor Syndrome? Does this have to do with the thing where you're not allowed to criticize anything you like, or to like anything you criticize?

Comments

[noracharles]

Yes, that is my understanding of it as well. But I get the impression that many people who do not agree that they shouldn't like whatever use the term defensively. They feel bad for being told to feel guilty, but they don't feel guilty. So why claim they do? To give the impression of conformity while knowingly transgressing norms?

And if they do feel guilty because they have internalized the judgment of the powers that be, why do they so cavalierly admit to liking it anyway? In that giggle, giggle "I'm just a weak and impulsive woman, don't judge me too harshly" way? Is that supposed to be charming and sexy?

[princessofgeeks]

i think if they are truly using the term defensively and not humorously, they are caught in that long-running and difficult place some of stay in for years, of rejecting certain judgments of society or authority figures and yet not being able to totally break free of them and say, fuck you, i'm liking this anyway, forget it.

i've heard it said as kind of a beacon that in order to be in the erotic porny parts of the fanfic world we have to make a vow to suspend all shame! which can be hard, scary, liberating or all three at once.

but this fearlessness in rejecting society's judgment on what we are doing here doesn't come overnight. so perhaps that defensiveness is part of that... wishing there was not that guilty attached, wishing it wasn't risky, wishing not to be an outsider. that sort of thing. i don't see it as an attempt at charm, but maybe i'm missing something.

and of course for some people sexy=bad and forbidden, period. so there can be that flavor woven in, I guess....the forbidden having an intrinsic appeal. kind of like that tongue in cheek saying from the fifties... "Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening."

just armchair psychology here.

[noracharles]

Good point! It had not occurred to me at all that it could be a naughty pleasure thing. That explains so much. Thank you :-D

[princessofgeeks]

glad if my vague tentative ramblings provided a bit of a lightbulb! :)

[noracharles]

Definitely. I enjoy getting a fresh/different perspective, and I often have difficulty making that jump myself.

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

My experience with the term is that it is to signal that you know something is lowbrow, ephemera, or otherwise tacky/trashy. So authors might use it for formulaic reading they partake in while sipping drinks with way too many umbrellas, or someone that likes to flip through the plot updates of daytime soaps, or even someone that buys a can of readymade frosting just to eat on graham crackers.

"Guilty Pleasure" seems to be a way of saying "this area is not open for debate" since 'don't harsh my squee' had yet to be introduced into the language.

[noracharles]

a can of readymade frosting just to eat on graham crackers

LOL, awesome! :-D

Yes, that makes sense to me as well. I don't understand the you can't criticize something you like thing, but that explains why they feel the need to preemptively point out something is flawed, while at the same time not saying what they think the flaw is. Thank you!