I really agree with you about the insulating effect. In some sense, participating in English-speaking social justice discussions is like doing it with training wheels - it's all somehow one step removed. The laws don't affect you, the murders are all an ocean away and if someone starts calling out privilege or pointing out -isms you can go "but that's over /there/, my home is shiny and perfect and Not Like That" (not that this is a /good thing/ but it's a dynamic I've observed.) I have to fight against MUCH more defensiveness when people start calling out, say, racism in Germany - partially because I'm hypersensitive to the paternalistic thing, but partially because it's about my home and a lot of anti-racist discussions are not. And once you get past the defensiveness, I also get a lot angrier about it - because, again, part of me thinks my home ought to be better than that!
And re: asexuality - wow, thank you, that's great to hear! One of the really big reasons I'm so vocal about asexuality is because I want to help other unrealised asexuals/grey-as/demisexuals/other people with low sex drive or who feel alienated by our hypersexed society to realise that alternatives exist, asexuality is a valid orientations, sex doesn't *have* to be that important. I went through a lot of unpleasantness as a teen because of my orientation and how no one would tell me it was a valid way to be, actually wound up inventing the word "asexual" on my own and only learned that there were others that identified that way when I was already in my twenties, so I really try to do my small part in ensuring there will be less experiences like mine. It's amazing to hear I'm having an effect!
And the whole /sexual/ thing drives me up the effing wall. The asexual community distinguishes between romantic and sexual orientation, so e.g. an asexual who is romantically attracted to men and women will often id as biromantic asexual or bi-asexual. I like this distinction! It is handy! Of course, outside our tiny community nobody does this. And, you know, the very fact that so many of us are iding as asexual *over* the romantic orientation really says something about how sex, wanting sex and having sex are made fundamental parts of your average sexual orientation - if this weren't the case I'd probably be identifying as a maybe-lesbian instead of asexual first and foremost and yes also queer but distinctly dubious about ever actually being part of the queer community because I've been discounted *so* often that I get defensive whenever I hear the word "LGBT". And, gah, I'm not making sense anymore but, you know, if the L, G and B communities want to get rid of the stereotype that their orientations are only about sex it would be nice if they'd ACT that way.
...my bitterness wrt the LGBT movement, let me show you it. *sigh*
Re: Euro and international feminist recs
I really agree with you about the insulating effect. In some sense, participating in English-speaking social justice discussions is like doing it with training wheels - it's all somehow one step removed. The laws don't affect you, the murders are all an ocean away and if someone starts calling out privilege or pointing out -isms you can go "but that's over /there/, my home is shiny and perfect and Not Like That" (not that this is a /good thing/ but it's a dynamic I've observed.) I have to fight against MUCH more defensiveness when people start calling out, say, racism in Germany - partially because I'm hypersensitive to the paternalistic thing, but partially because it's about my home and a lot of anti-racist discussions are not. And once you get past the defensiveness, I also get a lot angrier about it - because, again, part of me thinks my home ought to be better than that!
And re: asexuality - wow, thank you, that's great to hear! One of the really big reasons I'm so vocal about asexuality is because I want to help other unrealised asexuals/grey-as/demisexuals/other people with low sex drive or who feel alienated by our hypersexed society to realise that alternatives exist, asexuality is a valid orientations, sex doesn't *have* to be that important. I went through a lot of unpleasantness as a teen because of my orientation and how no one would tell me it was a valid way to be, actually wound up inventing the word "asexual" on my own and only learned that there were others that identified that way when I was already in my twenties, so I really try to do my small part in ensuring there will be less experiences like mine. It's amazing to hear I'm having an effect!
And the whole /sexual/ thing drives me up the effing wall. The asexual community distinguishes between romantic and sexual orientation, so e.g. an asexual who is romantically attracted to men and women will often id as biromantic asexual or bi-asexual. I like this distinction! It is handy! Of course, outside our tiny community nobody does this. And, you know, the very fact that so many of us are iding as asexual *over* the romantic orientation really says something about how sex, wanting sex and having sex are made fundamental parts of your average sexual orientation - if this weren't the case I'd probably be identifying as a maybe-lesbian instead of asexual first and foremost and yes also queer but distinctly dubious about ever actually being part of the queer community because I've been discounted *so* often that I get defensive whenever I hear the word "LGBT". And, gah, I'm not making sense anymore but, you know, if the L, G and B communities want to get rid of the stereotype that their orientations are only about sex it would be nice if they'd ACT that way.
...my bitterness wrt the LGBT movement, let me show you it. *sigh*